Misc., Writing

What it’s like having many things to write…

It is wearing a ball gown while wading through the thickest waist-high mud for miles and miles

Needing to light a hundred feet tall candle with one little match and no ladder

A thousand bees inside a small, metal box with one coin-sized hole

Seeing the finish line before the starting gun goes off

Trying a particular lipstick and it changing into another shade by midday

Sticky notes that keep falling off the wall and disappearing between the floorboards

Your dad’s heavy denim jacket that you will never grow into

Turning the volume up as high as it will go and still straining to hear the music

Eating until you are full and still feeling like you are starving

Waiting for the knock on the door when you’re sitting in a meadow

It is reaching the other side of the bridge before you have set one foot on it to cross.

I always want to write, every minute of every day, and I always have ideas in my head. Ideas that might be big, and they might last for no longer than two seconds. They’re all still there, and they’re all very loud and blinding.

When they are small, it’s hard to justify the effort to put them onto paper.

And when they are big stories that are bouncing around in my head, that are so complicated, I would need to sit in silence for a week to even grasp them with both hands.

Sometimes there is no motivation to write anything, fictional or otherwise. Sometimes this site goes neglected and unloved for weeks at a time. And sometimes I can’t stop. Sometimes it’s unhealthy when I stay awake until the small hours, scribbling by lamplight.

All to often, the desire to write plagues me but my body refuses. Together, we make the decision not to pick up the pen and notebook. We can’t even use an app on the tablet. But the stories are there. The characters are screaming at me inside my head to let them out, but I can’t always release them.

I have never finished a project. Starting to write so young meant that my language was soft and poor. Looking at it now makes me cringe and I could never submit that anywhere, so it is added to the pile. I’m sure that pile is taller than me by now.

There is a colourful rush that comes with writing and a relief, as though eliminating a headache and making room in my head. I’ll never stop, no matter who comes along and degrades my work, because I write for me and no one else.





Life Experience, Misc.

Five Ways to Relax After Work

I find it really difficult sometimes to return to myself after a hard, long day at work. The commute and the nature of the job automatically triggers higher than I would like stress levels and it got to the point where I was turning into a real bitch on an evening, which isn’t nice for anybody. Over the last couple of months, however, I have found a few ways of calming down and becoming me again when I get home, which is nice for everybody in the house, not only myself. I’ve managed to sort them into five nice succinct numbers and hopefully they’ll work for somebody out there in the blogging world.

1. Creative Colouring Books for Grown-Ups

61Wn3m9LdnL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_I bought one of these art therapy books,  and it’s actually working wonders. I didn’t expect it to that much, I jumped on the bandwagon and decided that because I’m a creative person I should probably have one of these on my shelf. There are so many out there and they’re getting really popular because they do work. Having a book with beautiful black and white patterns to peacefully colour in on an evening is bliss. You can get them from bookshops like Waterstones or WH Smith (I got mine from Amazon for about a fiver) and decent colouring pencils aren’t expensive – it costs barely anything to chill out and have a pretty masterpiece at the end of it. Highly recommended – it keeps me quiet which is a win-win for everyone.

2. Plan what you’re going to eat in advance

My life seems to revolve around food an awful lot – what’s for lunch, what’s for dinner, tell me now! – and I’ve found it really soothing to know what’s going in my belly after work. After all, it’s always nice to have something to look forward to and that thing is nomz. I really enjoy cooking and I’ve got a taste for cooking healthy meals from scratch recently. This keeps me busy but not too busy – you don’t wanna be the busy kinda stressed with cooking because that defeats the whole point. Get some tasty stuff in your fridge and have your mouth watering all day thinking about it.

3. Watch an old filmlarge_eE64N6PYCSRW2mtQucfK2av5Wk2

It’s no secret that I love films. They’re the bees knees and there’s nothing that I love more than curling up in front of a movie with a glass of orange juice (wine). It’s always great, though, to watch films that you have seen before. Films that you know you love, that are just great at what they do – entertaining. Have a dig through your DVD collection or hit up Netflix, find something you haven’t watched in years and stick it on. If you have the luxury, shove some popcorn in the microwave and you’re away.

4. Have a shower as soon as you enter the house

If you don’t share a house with 5 people like I do and can use the bathroom whenever you feel like it, it’s a great idea to drop your bags, throw off your coat and head straight for the shower. Make it hot, make it steamy and when you come out, work will have been washed off you and you’ll be ready to relax. I always love feeling all snuggly and fluffy in my PJs as well and omg if you have fresh bedding waiting for you, it’s a blessing. Yeah I get a little excited… I figure this is what it’s like to be an adult…

5. Do some writing

Power of WordsDoesn’t matter if it’s fictional, a diary, random words or a monologue, just write. Get that pen to paper and put your mind on the page. Just don’t do anything school or uni related – it’s gotta be your own brain. Your own thoughts, what matters to you. It really, really, like really helps me to write – shocker, I have a blog – because I sometimes feel like my head is going to explode from everything going on inside it. And if those things are work related, it’s as though I’m taking those stresses away and giving them to the paper. Because those things are written down you don’t forget them either – so your brain is worry free and your memory can rest easy, knowing that you’ve got it covered. Be chill.

Only you can really make yourself happy and I had to discover this on my own, after pissing everybody else off. Took me a while to realise that it was me being too crabby after work but – I think – it’s all fixed now… Seriously get one of those colouring books though..