Life Experience, University

The Talent Show of Life

When I was in school I used to feel like I didn’t have any talents. I felt like I had no skills that I could put to good use in the real world or that I would be recognised for. Then I went to uni. Studying Film and Television Production gave me something to strive towards and made me feel like I was worth something to the world – to the film world especially. My skills were fine tuned and I got the degree that I wanted when I graduated.

Almost a year after graduation, that feeling has gone and the old one has reared its ugly head. Not being a part of something like that anymore is difficult and I haven’t had the same creative opportunities that I did on the course. I’m back to where I started, feeling like I’m bursting with potential, but nowhere to take it, nowhere to implement it.

My new job as a marketing intern is showing me differently to an extent, however, because I’ve only been here for a week or so, I’m still learning viciously. I’m struggling with all three of my jobs in that I don’t like being at the bottom of the pile, imageslooking up at everyone else. I know that will take all of the hard work that I can muster and I believe that one day I will make it, but there is also a part of me that is scared of committing. What if the career that I commit to turns out to be something I hate? What if I fall out of love with it? It’s likely that some part of me will change, I just don’t know whether that will be for the positive or not.

My motive at the moment is to keep smiling through all the struggles and think about how I’m still young, free and capable
of anything. Getting bogged down in negative thoughts is something that I’m excellent at. Onwards and upwards.

Education

Testing the Waters

Dedication.

Determination.

Persistence.

Patience.

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Buzz words that you may or may not associate with teachers. Since I’ve been at this school, I have noted how teachers constantly put students before themselves (which you would hope if you were a parent) but, I just don’t think that I would be able to do this in the long run. They sacrifice their precious free time to mark books, send emails, create lesson plans and have meetings, all the while getting more and more tired as the days are counted towards the summer holidays. But this is far from true; teachers relish in the pressure, and despite all of the hard work and stress, sleepless nights and early mornings, if a teacher can make one small difference to one child, their job is complete. They love it.

And then there’s me. Now, before you jump to any sort of conclusions, please bear in mind that I do like my job and I’m grateful for this opportunity because it has given me a taster of something that I might want to do in life. It just turns out that I don’t. I don’t fancy the idea of taking a huge stack of books home every night; I want to leave work at work and at 22 I’m still in quite a self-centered phase of wanting to progress my own intelligence rather than improve others’. Horrible aren’t I? Actually, no I don’t think so. My defense is that everybody is different, we all lead different lives and we all want to achieve different things. I am testing the waters at the minute with different opportunities, I’m trying teaching, I’ve tried film, waitressing and working in a museum. I also plan to try out writing, dressmaking and probably standard office work. I don’t want to settle just yet, I’m still young! I want to go back to uni if we’re honest, but who has the money?