Life Experience

This 14th February, treat yo self

I always liked Valentine’s Day, the romance, the cutesy-ness, the flowers. Love is in the air, as they say at the end of Strictly Ballroom the Musical (my latest obsession).

And a few weeks ago the thought occurred to me that I’ll be single this Valentine’s Day for the first time in a few years. For about 0.5 seconds I felt sad, but then I remembered that the last few years haven’t been the most romantic experiences. In recent times I’ve bought my own flowers after being told I didn’t need any; a sweet aquarium trip meant for 2 turned into a busy group outing; and I’ve heard the actual words, “I’m going to let go of your hand before we go in so we don’t look like a couple.” That last one is my favourite.

If you’re single and think you’re going to be miserable around this Valentine’s period, take it as a day to treat yo self. Love yourself, and why not? Here are a few things that I think will guarantee a super time spent in your own company away from the faff of couples fighting for romantic restaurant tables:

  1. Clear at least an evening of any plans or work
  2. Line up a few of your favourite and most-loved films or TV shows
  3. Get in your favourite food, whether that’s something you love to cook, or ordering from the Chinese takeaway down the road
  4. Add some snacks to your shopping list – my favourites are cookies, shortbread, Magic Stars, Galaxy chocolate and Kettle Chips (maybe not all at once!)
  5. If you drink and, like me, love a good rose, get in some of your favourite alcohol that you wouldn’t normally have during the week

These are actually my plans for the day – absolute and pure relaxation. I might add in a facemask and new PJs somewhere…

This Valentine’s Day, I’ve decided that I’m going to get the most love ever, from me. I’m going to treat myself to some pretty daffodils and have a day where I can just be. Being single is definitely better than being unhappy, 100%.

You’re the best person that you know, so spend the 14th of February taking care of number 1, you deserve it!

Valentine’s Day isn’t just for the couples, it’s for singletons to self-love as well!tumblr_mgldye3mau1qeog6uo1_500

Life Experience, Uncategorized

Getting Back Up Again

I’ve been staring at this screen for a while. The last few weeks, I’ve loaded up WordPress with the intention of writing blog posts, but I always press the red cross. It’s not been worth it, writing. The truth of it is that for the last few months I have experienced the most horrific heartbreak I never thought possible for one human to feel. It meant that anything I wanted to write about was either depressingly miserable, or bitterly nasty. And what good would that do? That wouldn’t help anybody, especially myself and someone involved would likely call me out on it. I know that I’m not entitled to an opinion in this… oops.

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Sorry… ANYWAYS. I have taken now myself out of the situation. It was a very long time between the initial ‘incident’ and actually leaving the awful environment. It was actually only two months but it definitely felt like at least two years. If I had just one piece of advice for if  you are ever forced to live with your ex, it’s this: Don’t.

Just don’t do it. Get yourself out of that situation a.s.a.p. because it is bad for your mental and physical well being. (I have found actually that not many people are as unlucky as me to have to go through with this but it does happen.) I’ve felt like I’ve been going insane for the sad-girl-foot-in-water-black-and-whitelast few weeks, I’ve lost a lot of weight, had no appetite and have been sick and cried a lot. It has been horrendous. And the joke is, it could have been a lot, lot worse. But seeing your ex take up with you someone you live with really has to take the biscuit for things to break your heart. Painful doesn’t really cover it. Hurt doesn’t justify what I felt. Devastated does not even begin to describe the cavernous rip that tore through me…

But that’s not what this blog is about. This post is about the future and how things are starting to look up. I’ve started a Masters degree course at university, I’ve moved back in with my parents, I’m looking at starting driving lessons, I’m going to start swimming again, I’m making new friends, I’m meeting new people.

This blog is about however painful it is, and whatever heartbreak you’re going through whether that’s romantically or because of grief, work, trauma, anything, you will be okay. You are stronger than you think you are. Something I have come to realise is that you never know your true strength until that is all you have left. You might be collapsed on the floor, surrounded by tissues, your chest a gaping and bleeding raw wound. Your hair may be unwashed and you may not have eaten for 24 hours and you may be wearing the same pyjamas as you wore all day yesterday, but trust me when I say that things do get better. It will likely be one tiny step at a time, and the steps may be spread across weeks, but you will absolutely see an improvement in time. Nothing can hold you down so much that you can’t get back up again. Nothing.

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As for me, I’m nowhere near healed yet, and I don’t think I’ll be back to my old self for a long time, but now that I am away from that awful situation, the real work can begin. If you are suffering, all I can say is keep the faith, believe in yourself and go on Pinterest looking for inspirational quotes because you will realise than that you are not alone. Knowing that there are other people going through similar things is a weird kind of comfort when you’re hurting.

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You just have to believe in yourself.

Life Experience

Two Choices

It’s no secret that life throws plenty of opportunities at you to be sad, miserable and down. ‘Oh woe is me, why is the world against me, what did I ever do to deserve this?’ The truth is, you probably did nothing to deserve the hardship and the pitfalls that are dealt to you and at times it can feel like it’s just you against the world.

When something goes wrong you have two options, just two. You can turn away from everything that has happened and hide, you can pretend amongst the tears and the panic attacks that everything is actually okay and that if you protect yourself with cotton wool, you will be fine. You can run away from the trauma, guard yourself and build high walls to make sure you won’t get hurt again.

Or you can confront the pain head-on. You can stare it in its beady black eye and understand it, why it’s come for you specifically. It might not reveal any of its reasons or let you in on its secrets, but by facing it you can be damned sure that you can push past it and move forward.

It’s easy to hide and it’s easy to shut down, to close yourself off from the world around you. It’s most definitely a surefire way of protecting yourself, we all know that. But ultimately, it’s also the death of you. You can’t grow as an individual without taking on challenges willingly or otherwise, and you will never learn more about who you are by turning your back and running away.

I’ve learned that it’s okay to be sad and upset, because when you bottle your real emotions – men and women – it makes everything 100x worse. But there should always come a natural point where you decide what to do next, and that’s the crucial moment. Do you blanket yourself and try to smooth over the cracks that have appeared? Or do you stand up with your head high, borrow some glue from someone who supports you and take a leap of faith?

Well I took the glue, and I would choose to take a leap of faith every time. You don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, nobody does, and it’s really scary to throw yourself into the unknown alone like that. But me, I wouldn’t do it any differently. I didn’t hide and here I am, Brittany v2.0, and I will continue to not hide every time a difficult challenge comes along. I want to confront life and take control of what happens to me and of how I feel, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do from now on.

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Life Experience, Writing

Only Me: Part 3

We had hit a routine.

We did the same thing every day for the last year, I think.

You are not adventurous, but I am. I long to see new things, to learn more about the world, but you find it comforting to know that in this day and age you have no need to go outside.

You don’t care for the world like I do and that is why I am so glad you left and gave me back my life and

My dreams.

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World

Behind the Scenes of Facebook

Daisy Ridley recently issued a warning on Instagram on the intensity of social media and the strive for perfection. It caught my eye on Facebook, through BBC Radio 1’s article and made me realise how intense social media can be.

golden_rules_of_being_engagedI’ve seen a flurry of engagements and babies, new cars and expensive shopping trips, as well as daily gym half-naked selfies and beautiful healthy meals plague my Facebook, Twitter and Instagram feed. I’m so happy that all my friends are doing well and getting on, achieving their life goals at this stage, but it’s easy to get bogged down in the idea that other people have a better life than you.

 

That’s categorically untrue.

There is immense pressure on young people in particular when they are surrounded by perfect bodies, perfect skin and incredible social lives, to be as good as everyone else. What we see on social media is a heavily edited snippet of others’ lives – something that people have scrutinised over for a considerable time before publishing.

It’s a similar story with my job; as a social media…person..I have to be very careful with what I post on the companies’ Twitter and Facebook pages, to ensure a succinct and coherent message. Posts have to be unique, interesting, positive and have to prove to an audience that the company is very successful and useful to their clients.

People do exactly the same thing with their own personal profiles. They want to convey a specific message – some people even go as far as having their own themes on Instagram, meaning the stream of photos that they can post is even more limited.

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This is not to say that people don’t address negative issues on social media; people can be quite vocal when something bad has happened to them, as they need their friends’ support. People are quick to assume, however, that because a person’s feed is entirely positive that nothing bad is going on behind the scenes. They may be going through a break-up, or they may be facing severe stress at work that they don’t want to publicise, or they may just being going through a rough patch.

Of course, such things aren’t uploaded to Facebook, but instead are kept private. What makes a person feel better is posting joyful things that make them feel happy, as a sort of distraction from what is going on in the real world.

Can we call Facebook a distraction? Is that all it is rather than a real representation of people’s lives? Whether it is or it isn’t, it’s certainly putting pressure on the people that use it, but it’s important to remember (whatever age you are) that Facebook and other mediums are simply highlights of someone’s life and you shouldn’t feel the need to compare your behind the scenes to their show reel.

 

 

Misc.

When is it too far?

Aleira-Avendao
Aleira Avendano

By recently perusing Twitter this morning, I saw a link posted to an article about a Venezuelan model who had undergone 20 plastic surgery procedures just to get the ‘perfect’ body. The 26 year old has a 20 inch waist and has had 4 breast enlargements, along with three bum implants to achieve her hourglass figure.

A lot of people view plastic surgery as one of the most negative things on the planet. In the name of vanity, people change the way they look, but does that necessarily change who they are? People go to extreme lengths to change their bodies – Aleira Avendano is one of them. She’s reported to have had all of her teeth removed and replaced with dentures, and to achieve her tiny waist has worn a corset for 7 years as well has having a gastric bypass.

Can she really be scrutinised for taking things this far? We all have things that we like. Some people spend thousands of pounds on clothing, computers, cars, even books. We spend endless amounts on holidays, technology and hobbies. What makes plastic surgery any different? It’s definitely painful and it can be argued that lots of people don’t need it. When you factor in happiness, however, it makes some sense.

A person who is unhappy with their body should not necessarily be judged by others and forced to continue to be unhappy. There is a lot of buzz around social media lately about letting people be who they want to be in regards to gender, or no gender. Those who change their lifestyle and identity to be happier and relevant to the person inside are on a similar wavelength to getting plastic surgery.

If a woman wants exceptionally large hips, let her have them, as long as she can still sit down and walk. If a man wants to enhance his lips and grow his hair, let him. If a person wants to shrink or grow their breasts, tuck their tummy, lift their face, let them. We live in a world where virtually anything is possible and people can look like who they want to be, who they feel like they are inside.

The issue of vanity is pretty huge, and relates a little to Selfie Culture, which has been a pressing topic online lately. The idea that someone wants to look beautiful is frowned upon and a lot of botched and excessive surgeries have resulted in that stereotypical look with which we’re all familiar, meaning that as soon as we hear the words plastic surgery, we cringe and think ‘why are you doing this to yourself?!’. So, is it too far when someone’s waist is only 20 inches? Is it pointless, even though she is now happier in herself? Is it absurd because not everyone does it and looking different is an abomination?

overdone-lipsThe pain aspect is difficult to understand. Why someone would put themselves through self-inflicted pain and medication for their looks is curious; however, seeing the end results (ie. the happiness on that person’s face) makes it worth it. That’s why they’re doing it, that’s why they’re putting themselves through this. The only question that remains is; where does it stop?

Life Experience

#happiness is here

Ladies and gentlemen, you are looking at the world’s latest addition to the collective: Marketing Interns.

I’ve done it, I’ve finally done it! It’s been a hard roller coaster since I started applying for marketing positions back in the early months of 2015 and there have been a lot of sad and beaten down moments that I’ve gone through. I’ve had four big interviews in total and it turns out 4 is my lucky number!

I’ll get to be involved in all the company’s social media, blogging, video making – absolutely anything that I can throw my creativity at.

I’m so horrendously excited and so, so happy that I’m finally getting on with my career. I’ll be keeping my job at the clothes shop as a part timer – because I do actually like it there (even though I don’t want to be a sales assistant forever..) and I can’t wait to get started! I thought 2015 was turning out to be a bit of a bummer, but now this has come around, and Sam and I have also booked a trip to Iceland! How wonderfully exciting!!

Everything’s coming up Millhouse!

Life Experience, World

Put Up & Shut Up

She’s got it all. She’s got everything that I want and, truth is, I’m jealous. I want the innocence, the lack of knowing what’s coming, the naivety that surrounds her. The thought that every time she takes a step forward, she’s doing it with confidence and the ability to grasp the world with both her hands.

And then there’s the other one. The one who’s already achieved everything that she wants in life; she’s experienced it, she’s where she wants to be. She’s been through the dark and come out into the glorious sunshine, basking in its warmth, content and pleased with herself.

Yet here I am, trapped within the days of 2012, the hours, the minutes, the very seconds that keep me here, struggling on, still going through tribulations that I know I will have to solve. Nothing is easy, nothing is simple. Admittedly, I’m jealous of her in the past and I envy her in the future. The innocence and the success.

But there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.