New Story: A Change of City

New bit of flash fiction added to the site today! Inspired by my favourite band’s song A Change of Heart, it’s a small piece about being in the very moment of a break-up.

I could see the desperation in her eyes but her lips remained sealed. Her expression revealed everything, but she would never admit it. She would never admit when she was hurt, when I was hurting her.

Minutes dragged by as I watched her hold in tears. “Is there someone else?” Her sweet anger made me smile internally, and I was careful not to show it on my face.

“There is always someone else,” I explained, unsure how….[read more]

Misc., Writing

What it’s like having many things to write…

It is wearing a ball gown while wading through the thickest waist-high mud for miles and miles

Needing to light a hundred feet tall candle with one little match and no ladder

A thousand bees inside a small, metal box with one coin-sized hole

Seeing the finish line before the starting gun goes off

Trying a particular lipstick and it changing into another shade by midday

Sticky notes that keep falling off the wall and disappearing between the floorboards

Your dad’s heavy denim jacket that you will never grow into

Turning the volume up as high as it will go and still straining to hear the music

Eating until you are full and still feeling like you are starving

Waiting for the knock on the door when you’re sitting in a meadow

It is reaching the other side of the bridge before you have set one foot on it to cross.

I always want to write, every minute of every day, and I always have ideas in my head. Ideas that might be big, and they might last for no longer than two seconds. They’re all still there, and they’re all very loud and blinding.

When they are small, it’s hard to justify the effort to put them onto paper.

And when they are big stories that are bouncing around in my head, that are so complicated, I would need to sit in silence for a week to even grasp them with both hands.

Sometimes there is no motivation to write anything, fictional or otherwise. Sometimes this site goes neglected and unloved for weeks at a time. And sometimes I can’t stop. Sometimes it’s unhealthy when I stay awake until the small hours, scribbling by lamplight.

All to often, the desire to write plagues me but my body refuses. Together, we make the decision not to pick up the pen and notebook. We can’t even use an app on the tablet. But the stories are there. The characters are screaming at me inside my head to let them out, but I can’t always release them.

I have never finished a project. Starting to write so young meant that my language was soft and poor. Looking at it now makes me cringe and I could never submit that anywhere, so it is added to the pile. I’m sure that pile is taller than me by now.

There is a colourful rush that comes with writing and a relief, as though eliminating a headache and making room in my head. I’ll never stop, no matter who comes along and degrades my work, because I write for me and no one else.





Education, Life Experience

To Draft or not to Redraft?

This morning got me thinking. Sitting among a class of year 9’s being taught English and how to write a newspaper article led me to ponder – this happens an awful lot now that I am basically back at school – about blog writing. The teacher stood at the front talking about how your first draft is never your final, never the one that you take to the editor and I thought to myself that I never actually re-read my blog posts. Anything could be in there and I wouldn’t notice. But is this because I can’t be bothered or I feel like I don’t need to? Am I at that age in life where I feel like I don’t need to redraft simply because there isn’t anybody there to look at it? Or is it because blogging is such a fast-paced piece of writing to do that there isn’t any time to redraft and think about it? As a blogger should I be more responsible and look over my work, two, three, four times? Or is that a part of the charm of reading a blog – you know that the writer has literally poured their heart into it without a moment’s notice and essentially you get what you’re given.

I have no idea.

Of course, there are no answers – using my rhetorical questions there as a literary technique to spice things up a little and did you see my tripling earlier? This is what year 9 English is doing to me. Not only has it encouraged me to think more carefully about my writing (although I doubt I’m going to read this back before I publish) but I have started writing fiction again after their descriptive writing activities and I have recently started reading a book (I never read). Being at school is actually making me a better person, dontcha know.

I’m also keeping up with my editing skills by making a nice video about the school for their website. Marketing. Yeah.

love blogging

P.S I know the title doesn’t make much sense, I liked it, back off 😉

Entertainment, Film, University

Crazy Mad

Looking back through old posts is insanely weird. I just read one from two years ago, talking about having a fun day with my housemates. By housemates I mean those from first year who I now no longer speak to or can even bear thinking about without getting crazy mad. Sparing you of the deets, it’s just weird how you can go from being someone’s best friend to their worst enemy (usually without doing anything…#lol) and just forget their existence. Now I have a completely different circle of friends and a wonderful guy who is super duper ace and lovely. I’ll venture away from the gooey now.


We’re almost ready to start shooting our first third year film and it’s getting pretty stressful. I don’t know if you’ve been reading my Perks of Being a Sound Designer blog (link in the post below) but we’re doing really well and even though it’s hard, it’s a lot of fun. Also, next Monday I’m off on a trip to Poland with uni which is going to be awesome 😀 in case you’re wondering it’s to the Camerimage Film Festival in Bygod…Bygozdc…By-something and I am excited 🙂

Also, it’s my birthday on Friday. Gonna be 21. Olddddd. But yeah, looking forward to the next couple of weeks ^_^

Film, Life Experience, University


So! University update! I’m sure you know that my course is Film and Television Production and that I love it so much. I love the people, the content – regardless of the ridiculous essays that we have to do that make absolutely no  sense – and the fact that this could be my life one day.

We’ve recently been preparing to start filming our second fiction project, which, in a few basic words, is the opening sequence to a film or TV show. In this, I’ve been given the roles of script writer (yes!) and actress (ahh…) both of which I’m fiiiine with. Thing is, I’ve never really acted before apart from in my ‘Robyn’ trailer (a trailer for a TV show about a modern day female Robin Hood) that I made in year 13 for my media A Levels. And even then, I wasn’t playing a nagging, pregnant wife. Shit. Pregnant wife? How the Hell am I gonna manage this when I’m barely out of my teens? True, there are girls thrown into motherhood before they’re ready, but still. Bit worried about how I’m gonna achieve this. But I shall! Nothing will stop me!

Oh dear.