Entertainment, Film

Dinosaurs and the Ladies

It’s all over the cinema world at the moment and all that the dinosaurs are talking about. Jurassic World, the fourth installment in the Jurassic series with a hunky Indiana Jones archetypal protagonist and a smouldering shoulder padded lady friend. The special effects (literally the whole of the film except the people), the score and the A-list actors all scream out Hollywood jurassic-world-pratt-howardmainstream blockbuster and where that’s true, it’s also a slight understatement. Jurassic World isn’t the greatest thing I’ve ever laid eyes upon, but it certainly kept them open for a couple of hours. I normally write off big action films with a sniff and a turn of the head (Avengers, Furious 7, Transformers) but something about Jurassic World peaked my interest enough to spend £10 on a cinema ticket at 9pm on a school night(!). Maybe it’s that it kicked off in 1993 and it’s always a treat to see what they’ve done to the story and the theme (except Indiana Jones and the one we don’t talk about) or maybe it’s that dinosaurs are pretty darn cool and the trailers made me want more. It could also be the stacked Chris Pratt that made up my mind to watch the film or was it just because I didn’t want to be left out of a housemate cinema night out? All of these things contributed to me going to see it at the flicks, but nothing prepared me for what I experienced in regards to the ladies in the film.

Lady number 1) Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) is the one behind the new dinosaur and effectively the running of the theme park. She’s sexy and intimidating, professional and comes across as a little nerdy but what gets me the most is that she is the exactdalllas_white_ opposite of a mother figure at the start. She’s awful with her nephews – barely even knows them and finds it awkward to hug them. She doesn’t understand when her sister gets upset at the idea that they’re not with her at all times and perhaps worst of all, she doesn’t know how old they both are. She’s everything that a mother shouldn’t be in Hollywood but we can see, I guess, that she identifies herself as far too young and in the middle of concentrating on her growing career. It’s refreshing (in a weirdly bad and uncomfortable way) to see a woman with different priorities however it becomes clear to us as an audience that this is not okay. It’s not alright for her to not know how to care for her nephews. She’s shamed by the mother, by Chris Pratt and by the nephews meaning that we also shame her. Her nephews choose Owen (Pratt) over her because they know that he is more likely to protect them after she abandoned them at the start of the film and come on, look at his muscles.  The film sees her turn it around, though. She becomes protective, caring, motherly and compassionate, falling at the feet of Owen and slipping into a more familiar category of female character that Hollywood portrays, the one that we know most of all.

She’s pretty badass though, running about in heels, kicking dinosaur butt and being actually helpful on their mission to save the humans on the island (including her nephews). Credit to her really. She’s typically sexy, resulting in the end of the film seeing her in a sweaty pale vest that doesn’t leave much to the imagination and a skirt with a slit up her thigh. Her hair’s all dishevelled and her eye make up is dark and smudgy, but heck, that’s what we like to see in a hardworking arse kicking lady, isn’t it? There’s not much romance, unlike most mainstream films. There isn’t really a significant moment where they realise their love for each other and have a bit of a bonk in the truck. There’s flirting though; it’s insinuated, it’s sexy. It leads us (and Owen) on, wondering if they’ll get it on. No points for guessing if they do or not.

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The other females in Jurassic World aren’t all that romantic and sexy, however, but they are badass. Take the main antagonist of the whole film, the Indominus Rex. She’s a lady and a fine one at that. She might be a hybrid and trying to kill people at every corner, but she’s smart and she knows what she wants. Like Claire, we don’t see any maternal side to her – she ate her sibling before she was even that old. She’s out to win for herself and no one else – ain’t no man gonna get in her way. Contrary to usual Hollywood typecasts, the Indominus Rex doesn’t wear heels, doesn’t flash her cleavage and doesn’t appear as a damsel in distress. Quite refreshing, I think…

Our main dino-pal is Blue, the raptor who Owen has a little soft spot for. Of course, she’s a girl, his baby, the one who ultimately he can trust. She’s sleek, fast smart and is a team player with the other raptor friends and more often than not knows which side to be on. Her blue colouring makes her stand out from the rest of them, but seeing as raptors are kinda difficult to distinguish, it makes more sense, otherwise, it could be any random reptile that decides to help out and then we wouldn’t get the sentimental value, would we? Aww.

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The last lady I want to mention because I find her quite interesting is Zara, Claire’s assistant who is given the task of looking after the nephews and following them around the park, keen to crush their fun activities by playing on her phone and being unamused at everything. Like Claire, she doesn’t get it. She doesn’t really show care for the boys or their safety; all she seems to care about is her career progression and her BlackBerry. She’s pretty and she’s randomly British, just so that you remember which one she is. She’s snooty (what are you saying about Brits, huh??) and she’s completely incapable of keeping an eye on two teenage boys. Now, something that this lady is particularly special for is that she is the star of the first female death-by-dinosaur in the Jurassic Park series. I wouldn’t say she dies with dignity and in fact, I felt sick throughout the whole thing because it is quite an ordeal, but it is significant in that she is effectively punished for not looking after the boys properly. Her incompetence is the reason they escape into out of bounds areas and then get stalked and attacked by the Indominus Rex. So what do we do to ladies that neglect their maternal duties? Kill them off, of course (except the main one because she’s obviously shown real signs of progression in her character…).

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I thought this film was great and actually had a lot of really nice gestures to the previous films in the series. It’s packed full f action and the CG is just fabulous. I really believed that those dinosaurs were there in the scenes. I suppose that’s helped by the sheer fantastic acting by the likes of Pratt and Howard; they got swag. I think they handled the female characters incredibly well (and the male ones too who deserve a blog post of their own but it’s basically my bed time now) and I think the dinosaurs would be reasonably happy with their portrayals – except the Indominus Rex, but she ain’t real, so. The film is a credit to the series, but on a side note I really hope they don’t do another. Leave it there, it’s fine as is. Having said that, I would go see this one again and again because now I know where the jump scares are and I can watch it without hiding behind my fingers.

Entertainment, Film

“You didn’t slay the Dragon?!”

How does Princess Fiona get food? Does the Dragon cook for her or does she get asda delivery or something? I don’t think I’d appreciate being a princess locked in a tower, not that the Dragon wouldn’t bother me I’d just want my fix of supernoodles and chocolate and a roast dinner every so often.

I also hope she has a bathroom. Bless her.

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Entertainment, Television

Jezza

Being at home gives me the opportunity to watch one of my beloved trashy tv shows: The Jeremy Kyle Show. I’m not even kidding, I love it so much, I could watch it all day. It’s not to make myself feel better, or to laugh at those on it…it’s more if a fascination that I get to know that people actually live with these problems. And yes, I’m going to live by the fact that it’s not actors, unlike what I think about Jerry Springer or something. And loads of people go on about Jeremy being hypocritical, but I couldn’t care less, I love it and always will.

Thank you for putting up with my meaningless, yet clearly highly interesting posts and rants 😉 ha.

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Entertainment, Review, Television

New Page: Life on Mars

“My name is Sam Tyler.

I had an accident and woke up in 1973.

Am I mad, in a coma, or back in time?

Whatever’s happened, it’s like I’ve landed on a different planet.

Now, maybe if I can work out the reason, I can get home.”

This is my favourite TV show and I remember actually watching it when it was being broadcast on the TV, which I’m afraid I can’t say a lot for nowadays. As soon as I watched the first episode, I was hooked, it was like something I had never seen before and I just fell in love with it immediately. It has to be said that my favourite character is the might Gene Hunt, Detective Chief Inspector of the Greater Manchester Police in 1973. I mean, it’s such an original idea: a cop from 2006 is in a car accident and when he wakes up, he’s gone back in time by 33 years, he’s been demoted to Detective Inspector and gets flashbacks to his childhood as a four year old and hears hospital noises from the  present day.

I’m not going to go into some massive review about it, there’s no point and I can’t be bothered to be frank. But I will say that I found it so easy to fall in love with all the characters; Sam, Gene, Chris, Ray and Annie and then all the extras that dip in and out as they do in dramas.

So instead of going off on one about how amazing Life on Mars is, this page is going to be filled with pictures and things like that, because they’re far more interesting than reading the crap that comes out of my brain and onto the computer, right? :)

BUT! DO NOT confuse this Life on Mars with the utterly SHITE American rip off. No, just no. It even got cancelled before the first series finished. Only watch the English version. The only version.

From left to right: Chris, Gene, Sam, Ray, Annie

Camberwick Green Episode

I want this t-shirt!

And some of the beauty of Gene Hunt for you…

Here’s the link for the Life on Mars Page: https://briholme.wordpress.com/tv/life-on-mars/

Entertainment, Music

Kaiser Chiefs: Rediscovered

So, being stuck in my room pretty much all weekend I’ve had the iPod on non-stop and I seem to have reignited my love for Leeds band, Kaiser Chiefs 😀 I don’t know why I forgot about them but I love them! Granted, I love the first two albums more than the third and the fourth, but still. And this made me think it’d be a good idea (haha) to post a few videos of what I’ve been listening to lately, so you can also join in the wonder and amazement.

Kaiser Chiefs: My Kind of Guy (‘Yours Truly, Angry Mob’ Album)

Owl City: Plant Life (‘All Things Bright and Beautiful’ Album)

Red Light Company: The Architect (‘Fine Fascination’ Album)

Unfortunately, I couldn’t find my favourite, New Jersey Television by Red Light Company but I also love this one 🙂 Oh and my liking for Red Light Company is courtesy of Samuel Carter. He’ll be pleased with that.

The Click Five: Friday Night (‘Greetings from Imrie House’ Album)

 

 

Entertainment, Film

‘Buried’ Film Review

Okay…Buried. Literally it is what the title claims to be. But it’s honestly not that bad. In my opinion anyway. I thought it was interesting; a clever idea to base a whole 90 minute film on a guy inside a box. Well, I say guy, it’s Ryan Reynolds, so come on. I mean, I’m sure something like this has been tried before and failed, but I think this works, the more I think about it. Just very briefly: Reynolds or Paul as he’s called in the film, wakes up in a coffin with a phone and a few other choice items. So it’s technically not just him in it, he does manage to speak to various people rather than to himself. He’s meant to be this lorry driver in Iraq and the idea is that his convoy got blown up and he’s been taken as a hostage so that these men can get money off the American government.

It’s actually a pretty good watch, although it does get a bit slow through the middle, to be honest, I lost track of who he was talking to and why and they throw a snake into it at some point just to jazz it up. Riiight, a snake. But anyway, one of the things I kept complaining at was the awful quality of the film, only to be shot down and told that it’s like that because he’s only being lit by a little lighter. Which I can’t decide if it’s possible or not, but that’s not something to judge. Oh and he finds a glow stick and a torch at one point so there are varying qualities and colours of light. It’s just a bit strange how they filmed it, I didn’t expect the quality to be poor; I thought they would’ve cheated it or something. Who knows.

But I’m drifting. I’m not intending to analyse the film in this post, I’m just trying to tell you whether I thought it was good or not and I think yes, it was, although I doubt I’d bother watching it more than once because after you’ve seen it, it sort of renders the rest of the film a tad useless. To some extent.

But yes, watch it, rate it and enjoy it. I give it about 6 out of 10. Now I must go as my Milky Bar is calling to me from across the room…