Education, Life Experience, University

Brains, Not Boys

When I graduated in 2014, I knew I wasn’t finished with learning. I always enjoyed schoolwork, and even when I didn’t I threw my all into it regardless. But to complete a Masters degree, like I wanted, I would have to fork out thousands of pounds that I just didn’t have.

And then came the wonderful news that a Postgraduate loan was going to be introduced, kindly provided by Student Finance England, that would add to any undergraduate loans already waiting to be paid off.

I almost didn’t apply for this year because I felt too busy and “there is always next year”. But we all know that tomorrow never comes. Luck would have it that I suddenly became single and was thrown into a pit of unknown. The only way out, I saw it, was to focus only on myself, to better myself and to achieve more.

I’m (hopefully if they love me) going to study at the University of Leeds, on a writing course because…well, as I’ve said many a time on this blog, I want to be a writer. Desperately, truly, it’s all I can think of to do.

If I get in, I’ll be the happiest girl in the world. I’m glad I have transformed into someone whose life is completed by education, rather than by a man*.

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*However, applications are still open, apply within.

 

Life Experience, University

The Talent Show of Life

When I was in school I used to feel like I didn’t have any talents. I felt like I had no skills that I could put to good use in the real world or that I would be recognised for. Then I went to uni. Studying Film and Television Production gave me something to strive towards and made me feel like I was worth something to the world – to the film world especially. My skills were fine tuned and I got the degree that I wanted when I graduated.

Almost a year after graduation, that feeling has gone and the old one has reared its ugly head. Not being a part of something like that anymore is difficult and I haven’t had the same creative opportunities that I did on the course. I’m back to where I started, feeling like I’m bursting with potential, but nowhere to take it, nowhere to implement it.

My new job as a marketing intern is showing me differently to an extent, however, because I’ve only been here for a week or so, I’m still learning viciously. I’m struggling with all three of my jobs in that I don’t like being at the bottom of the pile, imageslooking up at everyone else. I know that will take all of the hard work that I can muster and I believe that one day I will make it, but there is also a part of me that is scared of committing. What if the career that I commit to turns out to be something I hate? What if I fall out of love with it? It’s likely that some part of me will change, I just don’t know whether that will be for the positive or not.

My motive at the moment is to keep smiling through all the struggles and think about how I’m still young, free and capable
of anything. Getting bogged down in negative thoughts is something that I’m excellent at. Onwards and upwards.

Life Experience, Misc.

Feeling Pants is Normal

I’ve been reasonably quiet recently and that’s not because I’m having a whale of a time being awesome and adventurous; I’m currently in the middle of working through a 6 day week.

I’ve never experienced exhaustion like this before. It’s strange because I feel like I shouldn’t be tired. The most hours that I work a day are 6 and work is only a fifteen minute walk away (unlike when I worked at school and travelled 40 minutes each way),  yet I’m really, really struggling to function and stay alert. I’ve put it down to the fact that I’m not necessarily in a job that I want. It’s hard working towards goals that you don’t want, that you never saw yourself doing. It’s always difficult after graduating from university – you’re filled with so much ambition and think that with a degree everything is going to fall into place and your ideal career is just waiting for you. It isn’t. It works out for some people, but for most, like me, it hasn’t so far. That could be why I feel so pants lately. Who knows.

What I need is to chug a Starbucks (conveniently next door) and push on. Something good better happen soon before I give up!

Peace out.

University, World

Biggest Day of My Life So Far…

Tomorrow is looming, it’s getting ever closer and my knees are starting to knock ever so slightly. It’s time, after these three years studying and working my arse off, to finally receive the award that I have earned. A First Class Degree in Film and Television Production, from York St John University and I am crazy proud right now. Not just of myself though, of everyone on my course, all of my friends that I have met along the way who I have slaved with over assignments and productions. Tomorrow will start the rest of my life from now on as I will be able to officially say, “I have a degree to my name.”

Many people my age have already graduated, back in the summertime when the weather sort of promised to be pleasant. Mine is in November, in the cold and hopefully not the wet. But this is all for good reason; we, as York St John Graduands will be entering the York Minster as mere students and leaving as fully matured graduates. I say fully matured, that can be used loosely for a small number of people. Yes! York Minster of all places, the building that tourists from all over the world flock to gawk at and take thousands of photographs of the wonderful thing.

It would perhaps be an understatement to say that tomorrow is going to be grand because it is most certainly going to be of the utmost grandeur and amazement and I can’t bloody wait. I will (of course) upload photographs from the day onto here, even though I seem to have a habit of neglecting my writing.

Anyhow. Tomorrow is going to be a BIG day and I wish everyone else at York St John the best time this week x

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