When I was in school I used to feel like I didn’t have any talents. I felt like I had no skills that I could put to good use in the real world or that I would be recognised for. Then I went to uni. Studying Film and Television Production gave me something to strive towards and made me feel like I was worth something to the world – to the film world especially. My skills were fine tuned and I got the degree that I wanted when I graduated.
Almost a year after graduation, that feeling has gone and the old one has reared its ugly head. Not being a part of something like that anymore is difficult and I haven’t had the same creative opportunities that I did on the course. I’m back to where I started, feeling like I’m bursting with potential, but nowhere to take it, nowhere to implement it.
My new job as a marketing intern is showing me differently to an extent, however, because I’ve only been here for a week or so, I’m still learning viciously. I’m struggling with all three of my jobs in that I don’t like being at the bottom of the pile, looking up at everyone else. I know that will take all of the hard work that I can muster and I believe that one day I will make it, but there is also a part of me that is scared of committing. What if the career that I commit to turns out to be something I hate? What if I fall out of love with it? It’s likely that some part of me will change, I just don’t know whether that will be for the positive or not.
My motive at the moment is to keep smiling through all the struggles and think about how I’m still young, free and capable
of anything. Getting bogged down in negative thoughts is something that I’m excellent at. Onwards and upwards.