Misc., Writing

What it’s like having many things to write…

It is wearing a ball gown while wading through the thickest waist-high mud for miles and miles

Needing to light a hundred feet tall candle with one little match and no ladder

A thousand bees inside a small, metal box with one coin-sized hole

Seeing the finish line before the starting gun goes off

Trying a particular lipstick and it changing into another shade by midday

Sticky notes that keep falling off the wall and disappearing between the floorboards

Your dad’s heavy denim jacket that you will never grow into

Turning the volume up as high as it will go and still straining to hear the music

Eating until you are full and still feeling like you are starving

Waiting for the knock on the door when you’re sitting in a meadow

It is reaching the other side of the bridge before you have set one foot on it to cross.

I always want to write, every minute of every day, and I always have ideas in my head. Ideas that might be big, and they might last for no longer than two seconds. They’re all still there, and they’re all very loud and blinding.

When they are small, it’s hard to justify the effort to put them onto paper.

And when they are big stories that are bouncing around in my head, that are so complicated, I would need to sit in silence for a week to even grasp them with both hands.

Sometimes there is no motivation to write anything, fictional or otherwise. Sometimes this site goes neglected and unloved for weeks at a time. And sometimes I can’t stop. Sometimes it’s unhealthy when I stay awake until the small hours, scribbling by lamplight.

All to often, the desire to write plagues me but my body refuses. Together, we make the decision not to pick up the pen and notebook. We can’t even use an app on the tablet. But the stories are there. The characters are screaming at me inside my head to let them out, but I can’t always release them.

I have never finished a project. Starting to write so young meant that my language was soft and poor. Looking at it now makes me cringe and I could never submit that anywhere, so it is added to the pile. I’m sure that pile is taller than me by now.

There is a colourful rush that comes with writing and a relief, as though eliminating a headache and making room in my head. I’ll never stop, no matter who comes along and degrades my work, because I write for me and no one else.

 

 

 

 

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Education

Memoirs of a Geisha

I never used to read. Other than Twilight when I was a tween and Eragon which is one of my favourite books, it never was one of my hobbies. I always had a stack of books in my room though, because they interested me. Books are fascinating, how you can get so absorbed into a set of pages and some characters that most of the time somebody has invented. They’re such a weird concept but I’ve always love them, I’ve just never really read them.

That was until I started working at school and became part of a year 8 reading class. It was a cold morning. And I was tired. It had been suggested to me that I bring in one of my own books because all the class would be doing for an hour would be reading in silence. But, silly me had ‘forgotten’ (I have three books atop my wardrobe in York sitting there, unread from an equivalent of Pound Stretcher so you see my reason for neglect) so I was forced to choose one post haste from the school library. I headed immediately for the sixth form section, hoping to find something I wanted to read because I have a real issue with choosing books or even films sometimes. So I browsed for a few moments and then chose something I’d never even heard of before. Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden. During that hour I read the first 27 pages and I was hooked. Like, really hooked. I’ve never felt like this about a book before, I’ve never been interested in a book like this before. But there’s something about it that I find incredibly interesting. If you don’t know it, like I didn’t, it’s about a young girl who is taken from her little fishing village and is given to an okiya in Kyoto to train to become a geisha. It’s all about her dealing with changes and expectations of women in 1930s Japan and it’s wonderful. I can’t stop reading, like really. I’m only on page 305 out of 493 so I have no idea what happens or how it ends so please no spoilers! Cheers.

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I’m also planning to watch the film (which is on Netflix thankfully) because film adaptations of books always fascinate me, I’m even looking at pursuing a masters degree in the subject.

Anyhow, I’m really happy to be back in the routine of reading. It’s nice, it’s exciting and it’s a different experience to watching a film (don’t start on which medium is better, I can’t handle it) and I have a growing stack of books on my bookshelf that I want to read and that have been recommended to me by many people. How exciting! But so far, I would highly recommend this book. It’s so, so interesting, I think I’m going to read some more now…

Entertainment

Jane Eyre Redesign

So I was in a bookshop yesterday in Bridlington and I came across the classics section and absent-mindedly had a look. A black book with white swirly writing and a melted red candle on the cover caught my eye. My initial thought was Twlight? In the classics section? Oh no. This is the redesign of the Bronte masterpiece: ‘Jane Eyre’. Frankly, it ticked me off. I love the Twilight books but surely the obsession that the female population seems to have with the saga is getting ridiculous. I can just imagine the publisher sitting there thinking, ‘If we make the cover look like Twilight, girls will be stupid enough to buy it and read it, thinking it’s like Twilight.’ Er no.

It would seem that as soon as something that turns out to be very popular is instantly copied by everything else. I mean, come on, everything is taking from Twilight. Look at the explosion of vampire TV shows…and the posters in Claire’s Accessories titled ‘Impress Edward’ or even look at all these people who call themselves vampires. Fair enough if you like it but…I’m not even going into that it’s too deep.

And if you actually look at the book cover (pictured below) you can see that it says at the bottom “You can’t choose who you fall in love with.” Does that ring a bell to anyone?? The storyline of the whole Twilight Saga perhaps? Wow it makes me really angry, and I don’t know why…

I just think it’s ridiculous that people are copying Twilight all-the-time. It’s actually putting me off it a bit. And I like it. Well, I used to.