Human Centipede [The]

I think it needs to be said first of all: What the actual hell?!?! No lies, this is the single weirdest film I’ve ever had to sit through, disregarding all of the Saw films. I mean it’s just so weird. The  biggest issue I have with this film is wondering why on earth somebody would think this up and where they’d get it from…who could possibly one day think ‘Yeah, let’s get three people and sew them together, arse to face, arse to face.’ WHAT?! Truth be told, as I’m sure many other reviewers say, I felt sick throughout the whole thing, not because it’s graphic, but because of the thought of it. That’s the worst thing, thinking what if it happened to you. And there’s literally nothing the characters can do about it. SPOILER ALERT: They don’t get out of it, so it’s not like there’s even any relief at the end. Fair enough, this crazy German scientist dies but they’re still bloody stuck to each other! Come on!

Aside from this, on a more critical (Ha! More critical) level, I thought the acting from all actors, except probably the policemen, was utter crap. Is it natural for Americans to speak…as…though…they…don’t…understand…English…and…need…to…think…about…every…word…? No. It’s not. So speed up your words a bit, love and get to the part where you’re running around in a skimpy clothes in the rain. Loving how cliche this whole film is, by the way. Two (as said in the description) pretty American girls are taking a road trip across Europe – oh how delightful! – and on their way to a nightclub, their car breaks down. Well, I didn’t see that one coming. Oh look, here’s a guy who’s going to harass them and make sexual noises at them. Great, original. And now it’s raining as they run to the crazy guy’s house! Wow! This just gets better!

Now then. Apologies for being a bit mean…if it came across like that, if not then that’s good I guess, but I did find myself watching the whole film without wanting to stop. As weird and as sick as the film is, I did want to know what was going to happen in the end and whether they’d escape or not. Evidently, not.

I’m not kidding when I say only watch this film if you can handle sick films, such as Saw I suppose. Saw is a lot more graphic I would argue, this one’s only creepy and makes you cringe at what’s on the screen. To be honest, I only watched this film so that I could say that I’ve seen it and tick it off on my list of experiences. It’s probably worth a watch, just to say you’ve seen it and then you’re allowed to slate it, like me haha.

I’m gonna give it a 3/10 just because it’s so frickin’ weird. I won’t be watching it again in a hurry, even if I was forced to eat someone else’s shit. -_-

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